Dear body, remember when you felt alive?
Remember when you sprang out of bed, never tired, remember?
Brain, I know it takes more time to recall things these days.
I know you don’t like to work so hard but just try.
Try to remember the times when it was easier, when the pain didn’t come so soon, or at all.
My little glossy eyes, remember when I was told at sixteen that I am a glaucoma suspect.
They thought I would have glaucoma sooner than later.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, literally.
My coke bottle glasses magnified the tears I was trying to hide.
My gnarled knee, you just popped the other day when I knelt down to kiss my daughter goodnight.
You hurt for days and sometimes hurt for no reason.
But there is a reason.
I used to twist you just right to hear a pop.
Or was that to feel it? Did it give me joy at the time?
Why did I do that, I didn’t know what it would turn into.
Teeth, how you used to gleam, all of you.
Even the ones that aren’t there anymore.
Lost to a bad root canal.
Decayed under crowns.
Not flossed, not cared for.
You poor things, I’m sorry I failed you.
Toes, why oh why do I always kick everything that comes in my path?
Even things I see and know are there like doorjams, bathtubs, steps, dogs, cats, toys.
Blame my eyes for not seeing these things as they are, and my brain for not registering, and my body for not moving properly.
I’m sorry you are the first line of defense.
You pay, and you get broken, over and over.
I look in the mirror and try to cover you up, my sad dark circles below my tired eyes.
The times that I am able to sleep ‘til noon are long over.
Now I’m lucky if I get a good 8 hours of sleep.
And it shows.
On my face.
On my attitude.
On my body.
I didn’t appreciate my body then, when it was shiny and new.
And I surely don’t appreciate it now that I’ve ruined it.
What do you think? Do you appreciate your body? Have you ‘ruined' it?