I'm 40, well almost, I guess I should hold on to that 39 for as long as I can. I'm old, I don’t feel old, I don’t consider myself old, some people do, which means my parents are really old.
They are in their 70’s and always used to complain about their grandchildren being on their phones but my parents have now regressed to being teenagers again.
Or maybe the more accurate term would be screenagers.
Obsessed with their phones, they can't function without them, and they aren't capable of participating in meaningful conversations. And when I ask them to put their phones down they look at me as if to say ‘You’re not the boss of me!’
I bet if I were at their house and asked them to turn their phones off they would probably sigh loudly, stomp off to their room, slam the door, and turn their Elvis music up really loud just to annoy me.
When I go out to eat with them all I see is the top of their heads because they are face down in their phones. My dad is always looking at his security cameras because anyone who drives by the house or any squirrel looking to heist an acorn sets off the security alert.
My dad has a lot of junk, and by junk I mean JUNK. He must have his security cameras to make sure no one is going through his junk trying to find that diamond in the rough. He did buy one new thing, which is rare for him, he is a tightwad and proud of it, a very rich tightwad. He bought a new trailer to pull behind his used pickup so he can haul his junk around and pick up more junk and guess what happened to that trailer?
It got stolen.
He had cameras up at the time but they were camping with the other elderly people who go camping all the time in their little, vintage, pull-behind marshmallow shaped fiberglass houses. He didn’t have a signal on his phone at the place where all the marshmallows had gathered so he couldn’t man the cameras.
Now the obsession continues even stronger than before the trailer stealing.
I don’t know what my mom does on her phone but one of my sisters is either calling her or texting her at one point or another during the time that I am eating and my parents are phone gawking. Maybe my mom’s phone obsession is just in response to my father's unresponsiveness to her.
I know that she likes to watch videos and play games on her phone with my daughter. And I have to tell my mom that I think she should put the phone down and interact with her granddaughter.
Then she looks at me like ‘Hey, I'm your mom, I know what I'm doing.’ And I look at her like ‘Yeah, you were great parents, ha ha,’ because they paid me about as much attention then as they do now.
Except cell phones didn’t exist and I don’t remember what they were so obsessed with back then but it definitely wasn’t me or my sisters.
Hmm, maybe they’ve acted like teenagers their entire lives but I just never realized it.
At least they aren't taking selfies and filtering their pictures to make them look like a young 60. I don’t even think they know what a selfie is. Oh no, I hope no one tells them.
I don’t know, maybe I'm just boring and they don’t want to talk to me, maybe it’s the aliens hypnotizing them through their phones, maybe all the radio waves have fried their brains and they don’t remember how to form sentences.
Maybe they just want to be young again and this is what all the kids are doing nowadays.
What do you think? Are your parents obsessed with their phones?