Member-only story
Please Invade My Privacy
by Andi Lutz
Week 1
I love grocery shopping, going up and down every aisle, reading the labels, finding new products, it’s so relaxing to me. I could spend hours there, and I have, literally, but not today. Eggs, milk, bread, 140 lbs of dog food, check, check, check, and check off the list. Then I made the decision to go to the bathroom before I got in line so I wasn’t dancing in the 20 items or less ‘fast’ lane, where they always put the slowest cashier in the world. Tip of the day, don’t gulp down 44 ounces of lime slushy before you go shopping. Mmm, but it tastes so good.
Anyway, I have to pee, really bad, so I walk into the bathroom and I see someone cleaning and decide that’s the person I should talk to. I go into the stall and think about how it’s all going to play out while I do my business. But what should I say? Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and it’s glossy and shiny. I wish my hair was shiny, why isn’t my hair shiny? Am I not using the right conditioner, should I try mayonnaise? Focus! I need to talk to this lady, I’ll compliment her on her hair.
When I come out she’s not at the sink wiping it down like she was when I walked in. I look around and see that one of the other stall doors is open and someone’s in it, that must be her. I wait there…
