Member-only story
Writing When Your Spouse Destroys Your Motivation
My husband wants to fight with me.
He starts an argument and it lasts for hours into the night.
I get four hours of sleep and then wake up at six in the morning to write.
He wakes up and tries to start a fight again.
I’m mentally exhausted.
I’m physically exhausted.
I’m not getting enough sleep.
He puts his perceived notions on me and wants me to pay for them.
I am.
I have.
I always will.
So how do I write?
How can I keep going when I am so drained and I have no motivation?
Up until this point, I let him control my emotions.
What he felt I felt.
What he said I thought too.
Until it became too much and too irrational.
And my dreams of being a writer became bigger than his dream of misery and needing company in that.
I bounced off rock bottom and said this is not good.
I decided to go up instead of down.
I was letting him take over my life and not allowing my writing to happen.
I was using this as an excuse.
This life, these problems, his unhappiness.
Why let my aspirations go because of the things I have no control over.
I have control over my writing.
By writing about my issues I see ways to resolve them.
By writing, I feel better.
I see that there can be a way to be happy through the storm.
Writing calms the turmoil in my head.
Writing creates the career I always wanted.
If someone is holding you back from writing ask yourself why they are.
Why are you letting them?
Why is the negative emotion more important than your goals?
Why are you settling for less?
You are a writer, don’t let anyone take that away from you.
