“I’d like a plane ticket,” I told the lady at the counter. She looked at me oddly and asked me a question I didn’t have an exact answer to.
“Where would you like to go?”
“As far away as possible. One way, I don’t want to come back here.” Apparently, that sets off red flags in the airline business. People who are despondent do crazy things. I could do crazy things if I had it in me, if I cared that much, but I didn’t, I was void. I was a leaf floating through life with no direction or reason, but even a leaf has a purpose after it falls off the tree. It turns into dirt to give back to the earth. That’s what I wanted, to go into the earth with them.
She asked for my I.D. and luckily, I remembered my passport or else I’d been stuck in this little country that wouldn’t help me forget anything. She confirmed that I’m safe to be around other people in a tube in the sky without doing something irreversible and damaging. She didn’t really know me or what I was thinking. I didn’t care if I died, I didn’t care if others around me died. But she let me on the plane anyway because she didn’t know what I’ve lost and that I had nothing left to lose. I didn’t tell her what happened, I didn’t ask for sympathy, for someone to feel sorry for me. I wouldn’t ask anyone for that, it was my burden to bear alone. I survived, and they didn’t, I had to live with that every day.
I found a window seat, closed my eyes, and prayed to a God I didn’t believe in anymore for no one to sit next to me. He didn’t answer my prayers. An older woman sat down, looked at me, smiled and I looked away. I felt the mood change between us. I asked that God who didn’t exist to make sure this lady leaves me alone.
“You know dear, I’m sorry for what’s happened to you,” she said. I turned toward her and searched her eyes, her face, for some familiarity. She smelled of something I recognized but couldn’t put my finger on.
“Do I know you?”
“No, but I know you will have peace very soon,” she said and took my hand. I pulled away, unbuckled my seat belt, and got up to find another seat, in the aisle. I sat there trying to make sense of who she was, what she knew, and why she said what she said. My mind was racing, and I was exhausted from little rest and too much worry. My eyelids drooped, and everything went black, the first sleep I’d had in days.
I woke to screaming, but not my own. Everyone around me was making some sort of noise, the plane was shaking like I’ve never felt. I looked around and I saw the woman, she smiled at me and the words ‘You will have peace very soon’ echoed in my head. Was this the peace she meant?
I closed my eyes and put my head back and that God, that one I thought didn’t exist, I started to ask him to let me live. Then I stopped, and I remembered my family, my sweet little babies, my loving husband, all gone. I wanted to be with them, I wanted that peace. I looked back at the woman and smiled at her. Everything slowed down but went so quickly, I couldn’t even recall the simplest of details. But the bright flash, I remembered that, and then the peace came.
This is a work of fiction. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.